Blocking Queen

For those whom the goddesses wish to punish, make them all mothers of oppositionally brilliant 14 year old boys and/or Cricket coaches of the same.

Given that my family life has managed to unravel and my work life has hit high gear, I have had very little time for personal knitting--so no wrist retraints, whips or chains have been completed (after all I am a yarn dom!) I am however, drowning in knitted tits--but then I digress. To help me cope with the "withdrawal symptoms" I have been finishing all the unfinished objects (UFOS) in my "in basket" and reworking objects in my "frog pile." (Anyone for a gefelted fish? It's really an orange carp made from half a sleeve of a sweater that is now a shrug.)

Throughout this process, I have noticed that I am absolutely fanatical about blocking. Now I don't know if it's because I'm an asymmetrical knitter (e.g. I was sipping on too many cosmos while knitting so my pieces don't quite fit together) or it's my Chinese sense of shame over slightly askew garments, Confucious say, "All knitted objects must be aesthetically pleasing." So I checked it out with my friend Rebel Knitter, who told me, "If your mother says block, you block!" (Well my mother never said that but then she knit with Phentyx which didn't need to be blocked. It's also not a yarn but an abomination but I won' go there!) According to one of R.K.'s Rebbes (or Rabbi who is also a knitter) the 11th commandment is "Thou shall block all knitted objects." This commandment along with the 12th and 13th "Thou shall always eat chocolate with thy knitting." and "Thou shall always love thy knitting." respectively however, got lost when the last of the Dead Sea Tupperware was recycled by the giant blue box in the desert.

I don't know how anyone can get away with not blocking, my other good friend, the Wooley Mammoth (who is not at all hairy or large but quite blonde and lithe) thinks she can and she gets away with it most of the time (Aiya, you should've seen-or was it yeshiva seen?-her fitted Vogue jacket) but her last Finished Object (FO) a.k.a. the Rowan Tank fetching as it was would have benefited with a good steam block. Mind you she looks beautiful in everthing so all of this could just be extreme bitchiness on my part because I had to steam block my last cotton tankini twice so I could fit into it (I am rather full figured shall we say.)

On the Cricket front I too am also a "Blocking Queen", no one touches my wickets! This is a good thing, as I can't seem to hit anything lately and have been accused by my beloved former boss/coach "Wicket Rider" of "bowling like a girl." Bat-Man" a.k.a. my training partner whom I knit bat cozies for thinks that I should just give up playing Cricket altogether and just "stick to my knitting" while I cheer him on. "Go Bat Man, go!"